Oh, Dear Ryan, I Am Sending Many Happy Thoughts

I am knowing that I am promising not to be writing on this blog. But I am being so distressed by exploding appendix of dear friend Ryan, that I am not being able to stop my own self.

Oh dearest Ryan, I am being with much sympathy of you. There is being this one time, in Varna, when my cousin Alexandra, the daughter of Baba Anyeska's cousin Tito, you know, the one with the wooden ear? Yes, him. His daughter, my cousin Alexandra, she is working at job gluing tiny plastic ends of shoelace to shoelaces. It is being most prestigious job, working for BulgoLace Factory #6. Many girls are being on waiting list. My cousin Alexandra, she is always being ready, no matter where, to point out her work, she is being that proud. It is being most exciting to be in BulgoMall and be hearing her happy shout of "Oh, look! Look! That woman there is having tiny plastic end of shoelace that I am gluing." It is being like shopping with Rock Star.

One day while gluing tiny plastic ends of shoelace to shoelaces, Alexandra is feeling most unusual. Perhaps she is eating bad sheep cheese? Or maybe tainted greens? Alexandra is not knowing, but pain is getting worse. Finally, she is knowing she must be going to medical center. The pain is so great she is losing concentration and has glued tiny plastic end of shoelace to finger in error!

Alexandra is crying out in pain and fear. Supervisor Olga Petrova is calling special Bulgarian emergency number. Quickly she is dialing 999-111-9-111-888-777-999-3!

Once loaded into ambulance, Alexandra is being speedily driven to BulgoMed #8. BulgoMed#7 is being closer but is being closed for lunch. Ambulance man is examining Alexandra and is deciding appendix is exploded! Emergency of surgery is being needed!

Arriving at BulgoMed#8, Alexandra is being readied for emergency appendix removal! Top surgeons begin to operate! But what is this? Where is appendix? It is being missing? Top surgeons are being confused and are having brief meeting. It is being decided to remove spleen. After all, Alexandra is already being open. And spleen is being so unnecessary.

And so Alexandra is waking up several hours later, losing spleen, but gaining tiny plastic end of shoelace on finger. After BulgoMed#7 is back from lunch, doctors there are confirming that Alexandra's appendix is already exploded and removed many years ago.

Now Alexandra is working at BulgoTel Direct Marketing. Tiny plastic end of shoelace on finger is allowing speedy pushing of telephone buttons, and Alexandra is selling more subscriptions to Varna Scene Monthly than any other operator. In all, a happy ending. But still, pain in stomach is being mystery.

Perhaps bad sheep cheese, after all.

Be getting well soon, dearest Ryan!