Is There Really A War On Christmas? If Not, I Want To Start It

I normally love Big Lots. They always have lots of fun Halloween stuff. I have bought many a scary item there. This year I bought a scary Tiki mask and a realistic spider web with four realistically scary spiders.

And so, what with Halloween being almost three weeks away, I went there the day before yesterday to pick up some more scary Halloween stuff.

But I could not.

Why?

Because fully one half of the fucking store was filled with Christmas Crap, that's why! Halloween was gone.

Does anyone besides me know that Christmas is, like, two and a half fucking months away?

Oh! Oh! I can hear you asking me: "Oh, Greg , what about Thanksgiving?"

Well, America, Thanksgiving has been told to Stuff It.

Seriously, if there is a War on Christmas, I want to enlist. I am beginning to hate Christmas, which, what with it being the "Peace On Earth Good Will Toward Man" season is not, NOT, a good sign.

But I am a reasonable man. I will not enlist in the War On Christmas if they will agree to limit Christmas to every other year.

I think that is fair.